20:20 Verses in 2020

1 Samuel 20:20, “I will shoot three arrows to the side of it, as though I were shooting at a target.”

One of the greatest friendships in the Bible is the friendship between David and Jonathan. King Saul was desiring to kill David. Jonathan, at first, did not believe his father would commit such an atrocity. However, when he found out it was true, his friendship with David superseded his loyalty to the despicable desires of his father.

1 Samuel 20:18-22 gives the plan that Jonathan devised to creatively communicate to David. “Then Jonathan said to David, Tomorrow is the New Moon feast. You will be missed, because your seat will be empty. 19 The day after tomorrow, toward evening, go to the place where you hid when this trouble began, and wait by the stone Ezel. 20 I will shoot three arrows to the side of it, as though I were shooting at a target. 21 Then I will send a boy and say, ‘Go, find the arrows.’ If I say to him, ‘Look, the arrows are on this side of you; bring them here,’ then come, because, as surely as the Lord lives, you are safe; there is no danger. 22 But if I say to the boy, ‘Look, the arrows are beyond you,’ then you must go, because the Lord has sent you away.’”

At mealtime on the next day Jonathan discovers that his father indeed was desiring to kill David so he warns David, with the arrows that go beyond the target, to run in order to save his life. David and Jonathan share parting greetings and pledge their friendship to each other.

All of us should have a friend like Jonathan. All of us should be a friend like Jonathan. He risked his relationship with his father and even his own life for the sake of a friend. Proverbs 18:24 summarizes this kind of friendship, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” This is the kind of friend you NEED TO BE and NEED TO HAVE. Consider these friendship characteristics.

The friend that you NEED TO BE and NEED TO HAVE is ACCEPTING. We are to accept one another just as, in Christ, God has accepted us. This is giving someone permission to be who they are. This friend says, “Because I am your friend, I accept you for who you are and where you are in life – especially in those times when this acceptance is desperately needed.”

The friend that you NEED TO BE and NEED TO HAVE is TRUSTWORTHY. In a relationship trust is a must. Therefore, both people in a relationship must be trustworthy. I read this quote that speaks of the opposite. “False friends are like a shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us when we cross into the shade.” True friendship says, “Because I am your friend you can always count on me even if and when others leave you or let you down.”

The friend that you NEED TO BE and NEED TO HAVE is CARE-FRONTING. A buddy says, “Do what you want.” A care-fronting friend says, “Because I am your friend I care enough to confront you by speaking the truth in love.” Oscar Wilde puts it another way when he wrote, “A true friend always stabs you in the front.”

Finally, the friend that you NEED TO BE and NEED TO HAVE is FORGIVING. We are to forgive one another just in Christ God has forgiven us. A true friend says, “Because I am your friend, I am committed to forgiving you even when our relationship is strained…even when you hurt me or let me down.” Forgiveness does not change the past, but it can change the future. Remember, in the middle of forgiveness is the word “give”. Forgiveness is given freely so you can walk in freedom.

Will you be the kind of friend that Jonathan was and that your friends need today?